Thursday, October 11, 2007

A Tounge-in-Cheek Description of My Driving Woes

I think there there must be a class called "Bad Driving 101" that North Caroliners have to take before they get their licence. I'll take NYC driving any day over Chapel Hill/Durham driving.

First of all, they drive super slow. And it takes them forever to start driving. If they're sitting at a red light, they wait until it turns yellow to decide to start driving. Then they go mad slow.

Secondly, they stop at ALL YELLOW LIGHTS. If one turns yellow while they're under it, they slam on their brakes, back up, and wait for it to turn green. Then they wait for it to turn yellow before they start driving.

Lastly, and most annoying, they think it's acceptable to wave, smile, honk, and mouth words to people in other cars. Today I drove from my house to Chapel Hill and back and I had --- I am not making this up --- I had SIX different guys do one of the above mentioned atrocities to me. It's a 15-minute drive, tops, each way, which works out to an average of one obscene gesture every five minutes. I say obscene because it's degrading and rude and it makes me feel like a piece of meat and it ruins my day. If I was walking around naked, I could understand, but I'm when I'm sitting in my car fully clothed and this happens, it makes me want to cry. Then you get to sit next to this person at a red light and then a green light, and it's about as awkward as getting rejected at a movie and then having to sit through it with that person.

Well, dear readers, these are my complaints about NC driving --- at least all I shall present today. There's more, but I shall save it for another day. I'm going to lie in bed and read..... good night!

3 comments:

  1. Learn to discreetly, strategically place your middle finger on your cheek or shoulder. If you think that will cause more problems than it will solve, tell them you have a band of brothers in Connecticut.

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  2. Yeah, I'm probably one of those slow drivers. I'm practicing being an old man, what with my old-man car and all.

    Also, I have never even heard of people trying to talk through a closed window. Weirdness.

    Lastly, I leave you with a few lines from "A Certain Shade of Green" by Incubus:

    All signs around say move ahead
    Will someone please explain to me
    Your ever present lack of speed

    My sources say the road is clear
    And street signs point the way

    I think I grew a grey watching you procrastinate
    What are you waiting for
    A certain shade of green?

    http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=5796

    Of course, there's probably a deeper meaning, but on the surface he's talking about waiting at a traffic light, so I thought I'd share. :-)

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